the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
this just has baby written all over it
I love having hate sex.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize