I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
