Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
