New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
