you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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