just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
