I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my being single is dangerous.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
