Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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