hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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