its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
