Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
