ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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