remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize