he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
