theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
