Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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