So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
