He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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