all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
