I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
