The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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