I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
false alarm. still invincible.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize