Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
