You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
