thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize