you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
