also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just found a bag of teeth...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
