im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
