Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
