i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
