The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
