someone get that fucking seahorse.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
