i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
