I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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