I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
