their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
