Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
