My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just sucked dick on a ferry
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize