Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
