woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
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