hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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