i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
