Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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