Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize