you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
