It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Watching her eat just hurts me
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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