Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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