the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
