mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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