her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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