you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
