Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
