how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
