I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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