So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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