I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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