U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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