You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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