You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
