I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
