fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
A+ Viking dick
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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